Vashien's Feminine Affliction Crisis
by HappyGothChan
Summary: One day little Liechtenstein appears in Vash's doorway with a bloodied item of white fabric in hand, making him stop just short of suicide.


As would be expected of most any nation in this day and age, Switzerland was living a life of a fairly busy sort. Everything was turning monotonous now. Read over yet another offered up plan for a number of official items. New and improved systems for the economy, requests to add on or build another fallout shelter for a town. Right about now he was regretting his passing of that law… It was an extremely cautious and well thought out endeavor initially, but as the population continued to rise more and more of his money was spent on making guaranteed bomb shelters for any and all citizens. So Vash was a paranoid male. Could you blame him, having been set smack dab in the middle of the two warring fronts in a number of wars? Neutrality to the extreme was in his nature. So much so as to elicit the shooting down of a plane from either side.

A gloved hand rose up to be held at his forehead, fingers entangled in his golden bangs. Could it be about time for him to get a haircut? Sapphire orbs set into his countenance took a short pause in his work to take a glance down at himself. His normal attire appeared to be in a fairly chaotic state. Cufflinks were undone or loose, just short of falling from their weakened strings. Index finger tugged at his collar. It was loose, possibly too loose. And now a sigh was emitted from out trigger-happy Swiss man. Something should be done about his bodily state of affairs before someone entered to view his severe lack in organization on his part. Where had everything gone? Wasn't he known for being a man of high caliber in terms of his ability to keep track of anything and everything, whether it be his own stature or the running of his land? Why do you think people opened Swiss bank accounts so often?

"Vashien?"

Zwingli could have sworn he rose a whole two inches from the seat at his desk from the sheer surprise caused by the sudden speaking. As half expecting to see the damned Italian brother naked in his doorway or possibly bloodied up Austria azure eyes came up slowly. Instead of either suppose brunet males his gaze had shifted to the petite frame of his pupil and considered younger sister, Liechtenstein. Eyes toned better than emeralds were rimmed in fended back tears, acutely childish and adorable cheeks a lavish pink color. Something was completely and utterly wrong. The blue ribbon tied a bow to the left side of her golden tresses lay askew and her white collar undone a single time via missing button. This sight brought about a physical manifestation of his worry. A lump, a sort of ball appeared in his throat and thus kept him from speaking and instead only able to watch in horror as she continued on.

Little Lieta held out some sort of item in her tiny hands. White fabric with one or two deep red splotches marring its pure coloring. The beauty that was her eyes, too, now became spoiled with the presence of brimming sobs and tiny liquid rivers flowing along her cheeks. "Vashien? I-I don't know what to do… The blood, I… This has never happened to me before… I'm so very… Very confused." Syllables mumbled and choked out as they were, Switzerland had half a mind to acquire a glass of water for the distraught child. That is until something clicked.

After a nice bit of world-spinning and color-blurring Vash found himself up and away from his desk. Instead he stood on a dark platform, likely enveloped by darkness had it not been for an odd sort of spotlight the left him aglow in the black. The furniture of his office, small Lieta, all were gone to leave only he. Not that it mattered all too much at this moment in time. He was far too busy having a nice little crisis.

A fit of shaking overtakes his frame. "Come now, Vash, pull yourself together. You knew this day would come, did you not? After all… Liechtenstein is of the female gender. I-It's only natural that one day she would… Have her period. But all that aside…" Now was the time for him to begin over dramatization of the matter. Black clad palms were placed at either side of his skull, world again swirling whilst his knees met the floor. "What the hell am I supposed to do? I-I'm not ready for this. Lieta becoming a woman… Oh God, what am I going to do? There must be someone I could contact. A female… Ukraine, Hungary, anyone… I can't do this!"

His world was ending. Nothing, absolutely made sense anymore. There was a complete hopelessness towards the situation at hand. All was embodied in the perfect pistol materializing next to his head, floating in a bobbing fashion. Seeing no other choice now, he promptly took the weapon in hand and held it to his head before finally pulling the trigger. Green and black clad form fell to the ground as blood splayed out in a halo around his golden cranium. Should he write an apology in his own blood? How very poetic.

"Vashien?"

The image of his death kissed frame was gone in a wisp of smoke. Physical world returning to his understanding, Switzerland took note of his surroundings simply to assure himself that he was in fact lacking in the state of death. Yes, his fingers could feel the arms of his chair. Dead people didn't sweat profusely as he was now, did they? No, everything was back to normal. And after his assurance that the little episode of Vash Soliloquy time was over and done with the single change in the area came to his attention. Having beforehand been at the door, Liechtenstein now stood before his desk, whimpering between each hiccupped breath. Tiny and feminine hands are outstretched to offer out the article of clothing. Some invisible force compelling him, Vash looks upon it to find… A sock? A small, frilled sock with a tiny blood stain at the toe.

"I-I stubbed my toe yesterday. This has never happened before! Even my high grade washing machines can't get it out! I-I don't know what to do," the girl spoke desperately with her eyes squeezed shut tightly. And, when opened, she sees Vash pressed back into his seat with the epitome of pure terror burned into his expression.

"But I was so sure," the Swiss male began after clearing his throat shortly, continuing to eye the sock with a gaze much more befitting a deadly python, "you were speaking of something else… Something more like, well…" It was his turn to become beet red, eyes turning to the side in embarrassment. "More like the feminine affliction."

The oddest noise hit his ears then. Had Lieta seriously just… Giggled? With the same sort of expression as the one held when a child is first told the moon is in fact not made of cheese Switzerland eyed Liechtenstein in puzzlement, waiting for her explanation. "Time of the month, you mean, Vashie? Oh, no… I started a long time ago. It was certain you would not react well, so I visited Aunty Elizaveta and acquired the proper knowledge." Through her words Liechtenstein continued to giggle cutely, eyes closed as they had been in her former tears. And, when opened, she is greeted with the sight of Vash passed out on the floor after having fallen from his chair.


End file.
